August 2009 Archives

I discovered Drabbles vie the weblog of narrativephile Ben Whitehouse.

A drabble is a story, usually science fiction or fantasy, that is exactly 100 words long.

I'm hopless at ficitional writing. Can't do plots or characters or any of that gubbins. So this is ideal. Here's my first attempt. It's also my first ever fictional writing that I've posted on the web (I think) so be nice to me.

Still they came. In their hundreds, thousands. And still they died.
Marching for days, across the windblown sand under a sun dripping blood. Wrapped in the remnants of their clothes, faces covered against the scouring dust they continued to walk to their deaths. Armed with ineffectual weapons, stepping over the bodies of their brethren they posed no threat to us.
Day after brutal day, the endless slaughter drove us mad. We invented new ways to kill them to stem the boredom. Soon killing them wasn't enough. We turned on each other in the need for an enemy that fought back.

Other drabbles worth reading:

The Siege

The Void

Image via Wikipedia

By popular declaration (i.e. me and @grovesmedia) I have become Krzysztof D'Aardvark, Imperator of Stuff.

That is all.

Kelly Brook has the most enviable celebrity boobs, according to a poll run by The Hospital Group, a cosmetic surgery company. The full press release reads:

Girls have named the TV beauty's curvy 32E cleavage as the one they would most like to have, followed by Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Cole's chest.

Tomb Raider actress Angelina Jolie came third in the poll, while new This Morning host Holly Willoughby is at number four. The new mum's 32D bosom caused a stir on Dancing On Ice in 2008, thanks to her plunging necklines.

Forty-year-old Jennifer Aniston was voted into fifth place.

David Ross, chief executive of The Hospital Group, which carried out the study, said: ''Kelly Brook is well known for her curves and she is constantly topping the sexiest women polls. But it's interesting to see that it's not just men who are under her spell. This study shows that thousands of women would love to have a cleavage to rival Kelly's, but unfortunately, not everyone is blessed with one.''

Sixth place in the poll of 2,000 women was Lost in Translation star Scarlett Johansson, followed by Bootylicious singer Beyonce and Fantastic Four actress Jessica Alba.

Burlesque dancer Dita Von Teese and I'm a Celeb star Myleene Klass completed the top ten.

Other women to feature in the poll included former Hollyoaks star Gemma Atkinson, glamour model Jordan and supermodel Kate Moss.

Researchers also revealed 39 per cent of women think celebrities have a major influence on people's thoughts on plastic surgery, with one in five saying they would consider plastic surgery to get boobs like their idol. Only two per cent of women have already done this.

But while seven per cent of women would choose the fake, Hollywood look, such as Victoria Beckham's round chest, the majority of women said they would like their boobs to look natural.

It's not just breasts that women look to celebs for inspiration as one in ten would also consider other cosmetic surgeries to get a body similar to their favourite star. And 31 per cent would mention their favourite celebrity when getting plastic surgery to make it clear that's the look they want.

David Ross, chief executive of The Hospital Group, added: "Our new developments in breast augmentation offer patients the chance to try before they buy with a pair of simple breast prosthesis to actually see and feel the difference implants will have on their life.

"Our Natrelle™ implants offer a bespoke service with 500 different combinations of shape, size, projection and cleavage so whatever your desired shape, be it Kelly Brook or Gemma Atkinson, you should find the perfect solution."

Top 10 celebrity boobs women would most like to have

1. Kelly Brook
2. Cheryl Cole
3. Angelina Jolie
4. Holly Willoughby
5. Jennifer Aniston
6. Scarlett Johansson
7. Beyonce
8. Jessica Alba
9. Dita Von Teese
10. Myleene Klass
11. Christina Aguilera
12. Gemma Atkinson
13. Jordan
14. Britney Spears
15. Charlotte Church
16. Coleen Rooney
17. Lucy Pinder
18. Nell McAndrew
19. Kate Moss
20. Victoria Beckham