Krzysztof D'Aardvark

Anachronym - suggest a long dead acronym

2010-02-07T18:20:44Z

Anachronym

noun: A long dead acronym

It occured to be today that there must a vast number of acronyms that were once almost ubquitous but that are no longer in regular use. Acronyms that out of date and evocative of the era when they appeared in almost every IRQ, Email or forum conversation.

Of the top of my head, however, I couldn't think of any. So I'm looking for people to suggest some here, in the comments, or on Twitter.

WYSIWYG - What you see is what you get. A description of user interfaces that allow you to edit text / content in a representation of how it will look in the final product. Probably no longer used because this type of user interface is now expected as the norm. Suggested by samschoolstuff.

Boing Boing just lost The Game (and so did I. And you)

2010-02-06T18:22:47Z

Boing Boing has just discovered, and consequently lost, the Game.

I've been playing the Game since 2002. I blogged about it in August 2002, when I'd already been playing it for 6 months. My blog entry, or rather the original post on my first Blogger-based blog, is one of the first permanent records of the The Game on the 'Net. I first learnt it, though, on the 4Clubbers.net forums. These have undergone several changes since that time though and the original entries do not appear to have been archived.

Since then I've tried to track the online coverage of The Game, until my old arseburgers.co.uk blog died.

Since then, I tweeted evidence that 118118 plays The Game.

If you see any other online or offline evidence of The Game, please let me know. Oh, and don't forget; You've Just Lost The Game!

VAT Manager looking for a new role

2010-02-03T14:19:43Z

As of Monday, I on am notice of redundancy at my current employer. I find my self looking for a new job, therefore.

I'm looking for role as a VAT Manager or Senior Manager in the Midlands or South West but I am willing to consider other areas for the right role. I copy my CV below.

In particular, I'm looking for a role that would allow me to stretch and develop my marketing and networking skills.

Paul Taylor

Burntwood
Staffordshire

Email: paul@theaardvark.co.uk

Key Skills

Quick to grasp, develop and apply concepts.
Excellent problem solving abilities often producing original solutions from lateral thinking.
Quick to follow and produce logical arguments in negotiations and technical discussions.
Communicates successfully with a wide variety of people.
Extensive knowledge of UK and European VAT applications.
Good 'user level' knowledge of IT systems and some support level experience.

Career History

VATease Ltd (became BTG-Tax LLP) 2008 - present

VAT Manager

Provide VAT Advice to wide range of clients including accountants, solicitors and industry clients.
Act as in-house VAT consultant for 2 accountancy firm clients.
Manage client relationships.
Write and edit regular VAT newsletter.
Assist with marketing projects and administration of the business.
Attend and/or represent clients at VAT Tribunal
Assist clients with VAT return, EC Sales List and Intrastat return preparation.

Dains 2006 - 2008

Senior VAT Consultant

Founded Indirect Tax Section.
Advised small and medium sized enterprises, charities and non-profit making bodies on all aspects of VAT.
Marketing activities to promote new Indirect Tax Section.
Undertook client visits and evaluations.
Assist clients with VAT return, EC Sales List and Intrastat return preparation.

VATease Ltd 2003 - 2006

Executive Consultant

Provide VAT Advice to wide range of clients including accountants, solicitors and industry clients.
Manage client relationships, billing and credit control.
Assist clients with VAT return, EC Sales List and Intrastat return preparation.
Write and edit monthly VAT newsletter.
Assist with marketing projects and administration of the business.
Attend and/or represent clients at VAT Tribunal
Assist with use of IT

NSK Europe Ltd 2001 - 2002

Indirect Taxation Manager

Responsible for VAT compliance of European group.
Prepared and submitted monthly VAT returns for 14 VAT registrations in 6 countries.
Created and developed processes for calculating VAT returns.
Assisted and advised on improvements made to SUN accounting system to properly account for VAT.
Assisted and advised on project to create process to complete Intrastat returns. Oversaw submission of returns.
Extensive use of Excel and VisionXL to extract and manipulate account data.

BDO Stoy Hayward (Nottingham) 2000

Manager of 4 person VAT team.

Assisted VAT Senior Manager on the creation of VAT team.
Advised small and medium sized enterprises, charities and non-profit making bodies on all aspects of VAT.
Carried out VAT reviews as part of audits
Undertook client visits and evaluations.
Oversaw development and activities of VAT consultant.

PricewaterhouseCoopers 1996 - 2000

Started as VAT consultant and promoted to VAT senior.
Responsible for management of "Overseas VAT refunds" team, compiling and submitting 8^th & 13^th EC directive refund claims for clients.
Advised medium, large and global enterprises, charities, non-profit making bodies and Government agencies on all aspects of VAT.
Carried out VAT reviews as part of audits
Responsible for client handling and billing for small portfolio of clients.
Assisted and managed a number of information technology changes and acted as a local representative for the IT team.

HM Customs & Excise 1991 - 1996

Started as EO visiting officer, spent some time on enquiries section, was a founding member of the "Cash Trader District" and finally moved to EO deregistration section.
Visiting officer responsible for reviewing the VAT declarations of taxpayers. Visited their premises, interviewed taxpayer, audit VAT records, issued assessments for over/underpaid VAT.
Enquiries officer responding to taxpayers' technical questions. Reviewed "Self-Builder" VAT claims.
Assisted with the creation of "Cash Trader District" using more in-depth, investigation-type techniques to determine the correct VAT liability of different types of cash oriented businesses.
EO Deregistration managing up to 9 staff processing deregistration applications from taxpayers. Responsible for reviewing action taken by staff and dealing with any technical queries.
Assisted with the implementation of information technology by the department.

Education

9 GCSEs

2 A levels.

Professional Experience

VAT technical work undertaken for the following industries & sectors:

house builders, registered social landlords, retailers, privatised Government agencies, overseas companies with UK branches, family businesses, multinational companies, dentists, pharmacies, charities, universities, property investment companies, manufacturers, service industries, casinos, horse & dog tracks.

Various technical courses attended throughout my career to develop, refresh and update technical knowledge and skills. Studied for professional qualifications throughout 1999.

Currently Chairman of the VAT Practitioners Group West Midlands Chapter

Personal details

Date of Birth: 24 January 1972 Status: Married, 3 Children

Interests include: Computers & Internet, DJing and Music, Motorsport, Reading

Ice sculptures at last night's gig

2010-01-30T15:37:48Z

My gig last night was a corporate event at a hotel in Newmarket. The theme was "Best of British and they really pushed the boat out. A Beatles tribute band, a Del Boy impersonator, a Britannia human statue and Ice Sculpture centre pieces by Hamilton Ice Sculptures.

The last one is a named place card that was on each place setting.

The death of the spoken word....

2010-01-28T20:29:25Z

Image via Wikipedia

Well that piece of crap title got your attention didn't it? Of course, I mean nothing of the sort. It just occurred to me that with unlimited SMS messaging plans and (limited) unlimited mobile internet, together with Twitter (Dabr), Gmail syncing to my phone and a decent web browser on the HTC Touch HD, I probably spend much more time on the phone sending or receiving information by text that by voice.

As a relatively early adopter of mobile phones, hands free kits and large amounts included airtime I was frequently the target of abuse / ribbing by the anti-mobile Luddites. Those who would equate anyone with a mobile with Dom Joly's "I'M ON THE TRAIN!". Quiet zones on trains felt, to me, like a sop to those individuals who wanted not a quiet area but an area where they could look uppity and annoyed and, pointing to the sign, proudly exclaim that "you can't use that thing here!".

Now, as a relatively early adopter of the communication tools and social networking resources that allow communication in (almost) complete science, and as someone who treasures the ability to be able to snooze undisturbed for the 1/2 hour train journey, I welcome an area where I can talk to my friends without being disturbed by other peoples communications. And they turn to volume down on those bloody annoying TV screens with the repetitive, out of date news service on them.

Saving for the record.....

2010-01-25T20:36:07Z

Gunk. "Grease", the Black Country Version

2010-01-19T13:14:52Z

Gunk.

Sedgely High School production of Grease.
Maken a noise like a gleed under a door

1. "Graise" Frankie Valli 3:24

2. "Summa Noyits" John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John 3:35

3. "Oy Loike Yow" Olivia Newton-John 3:04

4. "Yowm the wun what I want, yowm am" John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John 2:48

5. "Oi Sandz" John Travolta 2:31

6. "Beyaty Skul Clarnit" Frankie Avalon 3:59

7. "Ark at Me, I'm Sozza Dee" Stockard Channing, Didi Conn, Dinah Manoff and Jamie Donnelly 1:40

8. "Wosha'" John Travolta 3:13

9. "It's Rennin on Prom Noyit" Cindy Bullens 2:51

10. "Aloon at the Flay Pit" (instrumental) 2:24

11. "Blaw Mun" Sha-Na-Na 2:20

12. "Rock n' Rowl Is eya to Stoy" Sha-Na-Na 2:03

13. "Those Mojic Chonges" Sha-Na-Na 2:18

14. "Howund Dorg" Sha-Na-Na 1:24

15. "Born to Donnie Dance" Sha-Na-Na 4:37

16. "Blartin on me Pilla" Sha-Na-Na 2:02

17. "Moonen" Louis St. Louis and Cindy Bullens 4:37

18. "Freddy, Mo Mon" Cindy Bullens 4:37

19. "Rock n' Rowl Crack Wench" Louis St. Louis 2:11

20. "Thess'n Wuss Thangs I Cud Do" Stockard Channing 2:22

21. "Ark at Me, I'm Sozza Dee" (agen) Olivia Newton-John 1:28

22. "We wanna gow togever" John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John 3:00

23. "Love's a Bostin' Tranklement" (instrumental) 1:23

24. "Graise" (tararabit) Frankie Valli 4:37

(Suggestions for changes to the above are welcomed, particuarly changing the names to Black Country appropriate names).

Genuis: A definition

2010-01-18T16:26:44Z

genuis /dʒ'iːnəis/

Synonyms: noun: Imperator defined talent

genui plural

Genius is very great ability or skill in a particular subject or activity defined as and when by Krzysztof D'Aardvark, The Imperator.
- This is the mark of her real genuis as a finder of lost items.
- The man had genuis and people revered him as the font of useless information.
- This very blog post is a stroke of genuis.
A Genuis is a person capable of activities of such abilities or skills.
- theaardvark is not just a genuis, he is incredibly modest, handsome and generous too.

Rebuilding a Philips Freevents MT2400 PC

2010-01-14T22:39:55Z

This morning, the hard drive on my Philips Freevents MT2400 PC failed. Completely. I was going to say "suddenly" but I'd be lying. It's been hinting at it for months and I've done bugger all about backing all my stuff up. Mug.

Anyway, I've been out and bought myself a brand new hard drive, unplugged the old one and whacked the new one in its place. The processes that followed were not as simple as I'd hoped they would be.

Firstly, installing windows. The Philips Freevents MT2400 comes with Windows XP Media Edition 2005 pre-installed. I managed to find a set of installation disks for this and, thankfully, the Serial Number is on a sticker on the side of the desk top. So I figured it'd be easy to re-install Windows from those disks. And it is, in theory.

In practice, half way through it asked for the SP2 Installation CD, which wasn't included in the set of CDs I had. There are 2 resolutions to this:

I downloaded the SP2 file from microsoft.com (a self extracting installation file). I ran the file then when the installation process asked for further input Ignored that and copied the contents of the temporary file (from the C: drive) to a CD. I then used that as the SP2 Installation CD.
"Slipstream" the SP" pack with the XP installation discs.

I went for Option 1, mainly because I wasn't aware of Option 2 at the time. I would recommend you go for Option 2, it's much easier (I believe).

This will take several hours. At the end of this process, you should have Windows XP installed on your machine.

There's much more work to come and I'll update this entry as I get chance.

Adding a TweetMeme to the Front Page of my Movable Type blog

2010-01-13T13:15:30Z

About 3 months ago I blogged about adding a TweetMeme button to this Movable Type blog. In that entry I gave guidance on adding the button to an individual entry page on one of the standard templates where the "compact" button fits neatly along side the entry title. I promised to give guidance on adding the code to the Main Index for a Movable Type blog is anyone asked. Sure enough, someone has asked.

The template currently used by this blog uses a "Template Module" within the Main Index template. This is a separate section of code that can be called on by a number of different indexes, such a the Monthly and/or Subject Archive Index template.

It is fairly easy to confirm whether this is the case.

Navigate to the "Blog Template" page and select the "Main Index" link under "Index Templates".
Find the code "" and
If the code between these items includes <$mt:Include module="Some Text"$> then it is calling (inserting) the code in the Template Module "Some Text". For my blog and, I suspect, many others using standard templates this Module is called "Entry Summary".

If your Main Index template uses a Template Module then do the following:

Navigate to the correct Template Module page (i.e. "Some Text" or Entry Summary" in the examples above"
Find the code "<$mt:EntryTitle$>". This will probably be in a line that starts and ends
...
Immediately before the "

Because my Monthly and Subject Archives on this template also use the same Template Module to include the entries, making this change has also added the TweetMeme button to the entries on those archive pages too.

If your Main Index template (or any archive template) does not use a Template Module simply complete steps 2 & 3 above within the Main Index (or other) template itself.

If this has been any help RT it (using the button) and leave a comment. If you want details on how to add it to the front page let me know.

Me vs Football

2010-01-12T20:06:14Z

Image by theaardvark via Flickr

It appears to be be contagious. I don't know what the incubation period is so I don't know who I caught it from. I do know that the infection took slowly and innocuously and I was probably incurable by the time anyone noticed I had succumb. It may not have a long Latin name but football supporting is a affliction that should be understood.

As a child and through my teenage years I had a natural immunity to football, inherited from my Dad and his Dad who expressed no interest at all in sport during my formative years. Whether through genuine disinterest or out of a desire to be different from my peers, I was positively anti-football whenever anyone around me expressed or discussed an interest.

My first ever interest in football results came when I worked for HM Customs & Excise in Wolverhampton in the mid-1990s. I was manager to a staff of between 6 and 9 for 18 months and most of the were Wolves supporters. I would follow the mid-week results solely to gauge what mood my staff would be in the next day. A loss and they'd be fraught; arguing all day that they'd been robbed, the ref had been poor or they'd played well and deserved better (I've since learned that Wolves supporters in particular are known for these responses to a loss). A good win and they'd be on a high all day, chatty and pleasant to be around but not likely to get a great deal of work done. My best hope, as their manager, was for an unremarkable draw or win. They'd get some work done then.

After leaving that position, it would be years before I would have any reason to consider football. In the early 2000s my next door neighbour, an ardent Birmingham City FC fan, started helping me out at discos. I'd pick him up at around 5 to 5:30 on a Saturday and on some weeks the Blues match would still be playing so we'd stick it on the radio. He was quite a good ambassador for supporting a team and quite possibly the source of my infection. We'd quite often discuss the matches we were listening to or that had just finished.

Then, in 2005, Chasetown FC had a good FA Cup run reaching the first round proper playing then League 1 Oldham FC in a match that was televised by the BBC. I watched that match out of local pride and, against expectation, Chasetown forced a replay from Oldham with a 1-1 draw. I recall this as one of the first matches where I was actively supporting one team over another, with the possible exception Scotland or England international matches. Chasetown lost the replay away, as was expected but an interest in how they performed had been piqued.

In May 2006 I went to Madrid for my future Brother in Law's stag do and went to see my first ever football match. I saw Real Madrid play Deportivo La Coruna at the Santiago Bernabeu, one of the biggest football stadiums in the world. My first ever game and I was watching David Beckham playing in one of the most hallowed grounds, capable of holding 80,000 people.

The second game I ever went to was at St Andrews, home to Birmingham City in 2007. James (then 8) wanted to go and see a football match. So my neighbour offered to take us to see The Blues. We wanted a mid-week game were there was unlikely to be any trouble or crowding in the supporters that might frighten James, so we chose a Carling Cup match against Hereford. It didn't lead to the best match as an introduction for James.

I think the clincher, the point at which my resistance gave up, was in December 2007 when Chasetown FC did even better, getting though to the 3rd round. It was their 2nd round fixture against Port Vale FC, more specifically the replay at home after holding the League One team to a draw away.

The third match I attended was a non-league fixture between Chasetown and some team I don't remember. I attended to get a voucher that allowed me to buy a ticket to the Port Vale replay fixture. It was a totally different atmosphere. Almost more social and drinking than football. I don't even remember what the final score was.

My first 4 football matches

Real Madrid @ Santiago Bernabeu (80,000 capacity)
Birmingham City v Hereford @ St Andrews (30,000 capacity)
Chasetown FC vs ??? @ The Scholars Ground (2,000 capacity, 400 ave. attendance)
Chasetown FC vs Port Vale, FA Cup 3rd Rd Replay @ The Scholar's Ground (Attendance: 2000)

But my 4th, and favourite to date, match was the FA Cup 2nd round replay at home (just 10 minutes walk from home) against Port Vale. A match we were expected lose but won, with a diving header in the last quarter. That was it, I was hooked. In that split second, when that impossible goal brought 1500 strangers together and we screamed and shouted.

Unfortunately Chasetown lost in the 3rd round to Championship team Cardiff FC, even though the Welsh team didn't put out anywhere near their strongest team. You couldn't get tickets for love nor money for that match so I had to make do with listening on the radio.

I'm still not what you'd call a "proper" fan. I rarely attend Birmingham City matches, following on the TV, radio or, if forced to, BBC's live text service. When I do go to see The Scholars, it's more about the opportunity to meet up with friends for a beer than about watching the match.

Instead,you'll find me hiding upstairs watching Blues matches on TV or listening on BBC WM and cheering when "we" win but not particularly moping when we lose. You'll find Sharon downstairs moping about the loss of her husband or sitting in the passenger seat of the car complaining about having to listen to the football again.

(This entry grew out of what was going to be a comment on Danny Smith's Blues and me post to BiNS.)

My LG TV stops my Virgin TV remote control working

2010-01-09T20:02:44Z

'T other day I bought me missus a new flat screen TV for our bedroom. An LG 32LH2000. One of those over there ->

(In fact, if you wanted to click on that link and purchase one of those it'd be really nice. The commission on that type of sale would pay for the hosting of this site.)

It is a superb TV (and I'm not saying that just cus I'd like you to click on the ad and buy one). It looks good; sleek, curved and thin. The picture is excellent, to my uneducated eyes; none of those problems you're supposed to look out for on flat screen TVs. You know, when the picture moves fast, the black / colour contrast, etc., etc.

The TV has another good feature that allows you to turn down the backlight to save energy. It's sold as an Eco feature but we find it makes the TV much easier to watch when the lights are off. (I'm honestly not trying to sell this TV to you, there is a point to this. But if you should want to buy one, doing so through the advert above would be reeeaaallllllyy nice.)

We had problems the other day using the remote control for the Virgin cable box (ours is a Samsung SMT-2110C). Couldn't get the remote to work at all for ages, next night it was working fine. This continued for days. The Samsung Virgin box was working fine (the buttons on the front worked fine), the remote was working fine (checked it with the box downstairs) but the Samsung Virgin box wasn't receiving the signal.

By a process of deduction we finally figured out that everything was OK except when the Eco saving feature was activated and the backlight turned down.

So finally, we have arrived at the conclusion that the Eco feature that turns down the backlight on the LG TV interferes with the infra-red signal from the remote control to the Samsung Virgin cable TV box. Can't tell you why.

Anyways, the above is probably incredibly boring unless you happen to own both an LG 32LH2000 (or, probably, and of the LG LH2000 series) and a Samsung SMT-2110C Virgin cable TV box. The whole reason for this blog post, and the overly technical references to the equipment involved, is to help anyone else that might have the same problem who is searching the internet for the reasons via Google, Bing etc.

It is possible, though, that this could affect and remote control (apart from that of the LG TV itself ).

The Moustache - Should it stay or should go?

2010-01-03T19:45:19Z

My wife, who encourage its growth in Movember and retention during December, has decided I should shave of the moustache and beard combo.

I've been told over the last 2 months that it looks like Billy Connolly's, Willy Wonka's (although I've since noticed he doesn't have one in either film) and Andy Parsons's.

So, what do you guys think?

List of things what are currently bost.

2009-12-23T20:35:07Z

Washing Machine (leaking)
Kia (not MOT or Tax, OK not "broken" but unusable)
Hard disk on my desktop
Lights on my trailer.
Engine in my car (running, but needs work doing to it)
Dish washer (has been for months)
Both sets of toilet seats.
My new work laptop
Name box for my disco.
Me (Man Flu)
Sharon (more seriously; cluster migraines)
My will.

Compassion of the bereaved

2009-12-21T10:15:12Z

A quote from BBC New's article on the deteriating health of Lockerbie Bombmer, Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi, touched me this morning. (I'm ill and feeling emotionally fragile so it doesn't take much).

Buried toward the end of the article is a comment from a father bereaved by the 1988 bombing.

Dr Jim Swire, who lost his daughter Flora in the bombing, which happened 21 years ago on Monday, said: "I've been talking to people who know about his medical condition and the message I get is he's likely to only have a few weeks left.

"I think it's another occasion where we should be grateful for Kenny MacAskill's bold decision to allow him to go home."

Quite aside from any doubts about whether the right man was convicted, I think Dr Swire's compassion and suppor for the decision to allow Megrahi to go home to die speaks volumes. It shows the world that we, as a country, have a justice system that is about exactly that; justice, not revenge.